somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize