Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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