SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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