Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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