Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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