Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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