i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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