We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
