the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize