I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
