I'm going to jail i love you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
