can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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