Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
