I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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