I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
True college students do jello shots in the library
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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