And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smell like Dick and happiness
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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