Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
