oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
did you just send me my own nude
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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