jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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