Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
