So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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