just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Boobs speak an international language.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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