she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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