I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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