Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
