So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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