Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
