mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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