barbara walters just said penis...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
