They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize