her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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