u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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