Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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