I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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