Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
