Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
