I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
