whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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