In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Please don't give away my fajitas
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
