She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
