She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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