Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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