Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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