yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
