I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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