wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
