just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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