"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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