I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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