i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
