fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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