we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
