You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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