party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.