We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
