i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
