Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...