my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize