what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dick very happy bro
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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