It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone came in the potted fern
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
