Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
