I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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