So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Plan B is the new Plan A
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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