I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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