ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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