forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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