You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
