I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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