If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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