big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
